I just made out with a guy for $7.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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