So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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