It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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