that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
They took my balls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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