I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
