first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Two words: nipple clamps
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