i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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