farters have to be the big spoon...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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