the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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