She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
