I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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