Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
