I will die if light touches me.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
