your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
