i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
