hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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