how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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