i jhust puked up my retainher.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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