think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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