I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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