We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
