there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
