thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i need some magic done to my vagina
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
