You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
