that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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