I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
