It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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