Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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