K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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