I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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