Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
