Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize