Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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