Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
