it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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