u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
