I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
