There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
