know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
