I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
