Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
