I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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