i permit you to call me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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