There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
