I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
even my farts smell like vagina
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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