Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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