How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
