Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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