So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
