my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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