It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
