Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
