The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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