But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize