tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
