does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
