I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
