dude i'm inner monologue high
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
