I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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