He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
